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I’ve been a practicing psychologist for 24 years, a job that gives me an intimate window into what’s on the minds of teenagers and the adults who are raising and educating them. Caring for adolescents in my private practice, consulting for a school in my community and giving talks to parents and teachers around the country all put me in touch with topics that are coming up widely and persistently.
For the past three years, I’ve also written the monthly “Adolescence” column for The Times’s Well section. The column gives me a way to try to help address parenting challenges ranging from managing emotional meltdowns to talking with teenagers about drugs, drinking, vaping and sex. I am always looking to offer practical, dependable strategies and insights.
One thing I most love about being a psychologist is that the value of my ideas isn’t measured by how good they sound to me, or even to other adults — only the results count. In some cases, I’ve struck on an effective approach to a tricky issue thanks to trial and error in my own close work with teenagers. In others, I have been led to psychologically grounded yet easy-to-implement solutions by wise and seasoned colleagues at Laurel School in Shaker Heights, Ohio, where I spend part of each week, or on the counseling team at the Ursuline Academy of Dallas, who inspired my recent column on glitter jars (and how a D.I.Y. snow globe full of glitter is an apt metaphor for the emotional chaos of the adolescent brain). However I get there, when I discover a good tack on a problem I know parents also struggle with, I’m eager to share it.
Personally, my favorite pieces to write are the ones that help adults understand what’s behind common adolescent behaviors that can come off as annoying or even hurtful. Clinical experience and theoretical training both came into play when I sought to explain “Why Teenage Girls Roll Their Eyes” and “Why Teenagers Become ‘Allergic’ to Their Parents.”
Sometimes, the behavior I’m seeking to understand is more bewildering than rude. One recent opinion piece germinated when I found myself having one conversation after another with incredibly competent high school girls who seemed to be drowning in homework, partly because of their unyielding commitment to over-the-top preparation. I checked with teachers at Laurel, and they confirmed my suspicion that girls who had a great handle on the material often continued to overdo it — counting only on their work ethic and never on their wits.
Then, when I started to raise this high-competence-low-confidence style as a topic with groups of parents and educators in my travels as a speaker, I was struck not only by how much it resonated as a girls’ issue, but also by how many adult women remarked that it matched what they were seeing in the work world, to the detriment of women’s advancement. Once I looked into how these shared observations mapped onto research findings about girls at school and women at work, an Op-Ed was born.
For some of my writing, I simply take the questions that parents ask me and pose them to teenagers themselves at the schools I visit as a speaker and consultant, synthesizing their responses into an article. In preparing a column on “Why Your Grumpy Teenager Doesn’t Want to Talk to You,” I asked teenagers, both in groups and in casual one-on-one conversations, “What’s going on when you’re clearly upset but won’t tell your parents what’s wrong?”
Approaching teenagers with genuine and earnest questions almost always generates straight and thoughtful answers, and they readily offered several compelling explanations: They already know what we parents will say in response to the problem and aren’t in the mood to hear it; they worry that we will blab about what they share; or as one teenager explained, they’re 90 percent of the way over what happened at school by the time they get home, and rehashing it all for a parent isn’t going to help them get past it.
When I was in training decades ago, one of my clinical supervisors advised me to remain equidistant between teenagers and their parents. She was saying that psychologists are often most useful when we act as neutral, curious observers — when we don’t take sides, but instead work to try to understand the dynamics unfolding before us. I have come to appreciate how much the practice of psychology dovetails with the aims of service journalism: to see what’s there, to ask a lot of questions and, when possible, to shed light and help people.
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巴黎港二肖四肖六肖【尽】【管】【狐】【族】【族】【长】【把】【蔓】【草】【看】【作】【是】【害】【他】【儿】【子】【被】【山】【神】【惩】【处】【的】【凶】【手】，【对】【她】【痛】【恨】【至】【极】，【恨】【不】【能】【把】【她】【扒】【皮】【抽】【筋】【以】【解】【仇】【恨】，【可】【是】【在】【上】【仙】【面】【前】【不】【敢】【放】【肆】。 【背】【靠】【大】【树】【好】【乘】【凉】，【如】【今】【这】【小】【狐】【狸】【算】【是】【找】【到】【靠】【山】【了】。【若】【是】【动】【她】【便】【是】【拂】【了】【上】【仙】【面】【子】，【仙】【界】【的】【尊】【严】，【那】【是】【自】【取】【灭】【亡】。 【几】【个】【长】【老】【看】【见】【那】【只】【小】【红】【狐】【跟】【随】【上】【仙】【而】【来】，【心】【中】【也】【是】【忐】【忑】【难】【安】。
“【露】【比】，【看】【来】【他】【不】【怎】【么】【看】【得】【起】【咱】【俩】，【要】【不】【给】【他】【点】【颜】【色】【看】【看】？” 【看】【到】【罗】【伊】【这】【种】【丝】【毫】【不】【将】【她】【们】【放】【在】【眼】【里】【的】【表】【情】，【就】【算】【是】【露】【茜】，【都】【是】【有】【些】【忍】【受】【不】【住】【了】。【她】【们】【晋】【升】【的】【太】【快】，【难】【免】【会】【有】【些】【自】【大】，【她】【们】【两】【个】【也】【不】【能】【免】【俗】。 【就】【好】【比】【一】【个】【本】【来】【家】【产】【只】【有】【十】【万】【的】【人】，【忽】【然】【一】【夜】【之】【间】，【腰】【缠】【万】【贯】，【家】【产】【过】【亿】。【那】【么】【就】【算】【他】【原】【来】【是】【一】【个】【本】
【欧】【洲】【宫】【廷】。 【慕】【心】【的】【肚】【子】【已】【经】【高】【高】【隆】【起】，【六】【个】【月】【的】【身】【孕】，【肚】【子】【更】【是】【大】【了】【一】【圈】。 【今】【天】，【她】【穿】【着】【喜】【庆】【的】【红】【裙】，【看】【着】【她】【也】【明】【艳】【动】【人】。 【向】【修】【寒】【的】【微】【博】，【她】【是】【看】【了】【又】【看】，【然】【后】【忍】【不】【住】【的】【笑】【着】。 【世】【界】【上】，【大】【概】【也】【就】【她】【这】【么】【一】【个】【怪】【人】【了】。 【看】【到】【跟】【自】【己】【相】【爱】【的】【老】【公】，【发】【了】***【的】【微】【博】，【也】【能】【笑】【半】【天】。 【她】【轻】【抚】【高】【耸】
“【晋】【王】” “【郭】【太】【守】” 【两】【人】【喝】【酒】，【郭】【夕】【儿】【在】【一】【旁】【倒】【酒】。 “【晋】【王】，【夕】【儿】【就】【麻】【烦】【你】【了】” 【楚】【王】【对】【女】【人】【冷】【淡】，【那】【就】【先】【从】【晋】【王】【这】【里】【得】【到】【好】【处】。【楚】【侧】【王】【妃】【当】【不】【了】，【那】【就】【当】【晋】【王】【侧】【妃】。【郭】【太】【守】【如】【意】【算】【盘】【打】【得】【很】【响】。【现】【在】【他】【已】【经】【是】【楚】【王】【的】【属】【官】，【楚】【王】【不】【开】【口】，【他】【不】【能】【回】【京】【城】。【十】【几】【年】，【他】【好】【不】【容】【易】【干】【掉】【张】【太】【守】，【才】【怕】【上】【来】。巴黎港二肖四肖六肖【一】【早】【醒】【来】，【宛】【如】【晴】【天】【霹】【雳】，【刺】【激】【着】【冰】【凝】【的】【心】【灵】。 “【凝】【儿】，【我】【和】【你】【爸】【爸】【还】【有】【你】【外】【公】【商】【量】【好】【了】，【接】【你】【去】【外】【公】【那】【边】【住】【一】【段】【时】【间】。” 【纳】【兰】【妈】【妈】【边】【说】【边】【帮】【着】【冰】【凝】【收】【拾】【行】【囊】。 【这】【也】【太】【匆】【忙】【了】【吧】，【况】【且】【昨】【晚】【才】……【今】【天】【爸】【爸】【妈】【妈】【就】【和】【好】【了】？。【还】【是】【演】【给】【看】【的】，【去】【外】【公】【那】【干】【嘛】【啊】？【冰】【凝】【疑】【惑】【的】【想】【道】。 “【为】【什】【么】【吖】，【妈】【妈】，
【多】【年】【以】【后】。 “【娘】，【娘】，【舅】【舅】【欺】【负】【我】！”【一】【个】【两】【三】【岁】【的】【娃】【娃】【在】【村】【口】【边】【跑】【边】【喊】。 【一】【个】【女】【人】【拿】【着】【擀】【面】【杖】，【脸】【上】【沾】【满】**【就】【出】【来】【了】，“【大】【方】，【你】【干】【嘛】【又】【惹】【他】？【你】【明】【知】【道】【我】【已】【经】【手】【忙】【脚】【乱】【了】！” “【叫】【哥】【哥】！”【什】【么】【情】【况】【啊】？【怎】【么】【现】【在】【连】【声】【哥】【哥】【都】【听】【不】【到】【了】？ “【我】【才】【不】【要】，【谁】【稀】【罕】【啊】！”【老】【娘】【要】【叫】【你】【的】【时】【候】【你】【不】【稀】【罕】
【听】【着】【牛】【粪】【的】【讲】【解】，【桀】【祖】【此】【刻】【也】【是】【惊】【呆】【了】！ 【难】【道】【他】【们】【当】【初】【错】【了】【么】，【大】【道】【圣】【人】，【还】【有】【单】【条】【法】【则】【的】【大】【道】【圣】【人】，【这】【也】【太】【奇】【怪】【了】【吧】！ 【他】【们】【当】【初】【可】【是】【要】【集】【合】【所】【有】【法】【则】【为】【一】【身】【的】，【就】【拿】【龙】【族】【的】【时】【间】，【空】【间】【法】【则】【来】【说】，【这】【俩】【法】【则】【修】【炼】【的】【第】【一】【人】，【被】【人】【围】【攻】【杀】【了】【之】【后】，【又】【不】【知】【道】【被】【拿】【去】【修】【炼】，【再】【被】【杀】【掉】，【反】【反】【复】【复】【多】【少】【次】，【才】【轮】【到】【他】